It's not Alzheimer's

I started crying. Right there, on a jobsite of some terrible temporary job I was working. Standing in a dirty warehouse while my partner kept working.

I cried.

The doctor says it is dementia caused by stress, depression, and PTSD. It’s not Alzheimer’s.

I sat down and cried.

We’re going to start him on an anti-depressant and I have a number for a counselor that specializes in veterans. Can you believe this? Dad is so relieved. I’m going to call your brothers and let them know. He might not get all his memory back, but we can certainly stop anymore loss, and probably make it much better. The doctor said it is not Alzheimer’s.

Just a little memory thing

My mom hadn’t told any of us. They had hidden it for years. They were very good at hiding things.

The first I heard of it, mom and dad had come to Idaho to visit, like they did every summer. They left midday and went back to the hotel so dad could take a nap.

Is dad okay? I meant that maybe his back was hurting again and that’s why he had to lay down.

Oh I’m fine hon, it’s just a little memory thing. No big deal.

 

 

 

What? What was he talking about? Memory thing?

If only I could remember

Sometimes, I try to think of the last lucid conversation I had with my dad. The last time I was talking to my father, in all his mental capacities. The last time he knew what I was saying to him and what he was saying back to me. I try to remember the last conversation I had with my father.

 

I cannot.

 

He just slipped away one day. He said it’s like a fog. You know how fog can just start filtering in, in tiny increments, and you know it’s getting foggy, but you can still see until in one breath, you can’t. My dad slipped from me just like that.

 

I have to take a break.