Take pictures

Hey ma, do you have the camera I gave you?

Yep, I brought it.

Remember to take lots of pictures of dad with the baby.

I will.

It’s important.

Jim will want pictures of his son with dad.
He will want to show his son who his grandpa was.
Someday, that child will want that picture.

Make sure to take lots of pictures for him.

So those boys can remember him.

Take lots of pictures of him.

So people can remember him.

 

My mom's retirement

Your dad worked so much.

When he changed jobs I thought he would work less.
I thought he would come home at a decent hour.
But he worked more.
And I had retired by then.
And I was just here, in this house, alone.
And he kept working longer hours.
And I was just here.
I thought that when he retired we would finally get to be together.
I thought we would travel.
I thought it would all be worth it.
So I waited. Alone……

And then this.

This is our retirement?
This is what I was waiting for?
After all that time, waiting for him…..

I’m still alone.

Velcro

Shoe shopping. Not much time left before dad melts down.

What about these ones?

Go ahead and try them on, see if you like them.

Okay.

Do they feel alright?

Yes. I like these.

Okay, let's get these.

Should we get two pair so we have another when these wear out? Mom asks.
No.
Why?
When these run out he might not be able to tie shoes anymore.
You mean Velcro shoes?
Yes. He’ll need Velcro.

My dad will need Velcro, like a child does.

My dad won’t remember how to tie his shoes.
My mom’s husband will need Velcro, like a child does.
My mom’s husband won’t remember how to tie his shoes.

Shana's on the phone

Say hello. It’s Shana. Hold this and say hello.

Dad?

Hold onto this and say hello. Shana wants to say hi.
This, right here. Yep. Shana wants to talk to you.
Say hello.

Dad?

No, right here. Okay, not talk to Shana.

Dad?

Hello? Hello?

Hi dad.

Oh! Hi there!

He will say hi

Dad will say hi to anyone, everyone, anywhere, anytime, without warning, as he would to a best friend, with sincerity and interest and honesty.

He will try to push a cart for an old lady because she looks like she needs help.

He will call an old man, dad, and shake his hand and thank him for his service.
He will mimic strangers’ babies until they laugh and then they will both laugh.
He will check in with unknown teens to make sure they are okay.

He does not understand their uncomfortable looks of confusion.

He does not understand their mistrust and annoyance.
He does not know why strangers think he should not do these things.
He does not know why others do not do these things.

Again, I wonder, which of us is actually lost.

I buckled his seat belt for him

Today, I had to buckle my dad’s seatbelt for him. I tried to tell him how. Then I got out of the car, went to his side, opened the door,  pulled the seatbelt across him, and buckled it. My dad couldn’t buckle his own seatbelt today.

My mom watched me, buckle my dad’s seatbelt for him. Because it was too much for him. Watched her daughter buckle her husband’s seatbelt, because today, he didn’t know how.

What was it like to watch your child perform such a simple act that today, was too much for her husband? What was is like to know that today, he couldn’t reach over his shoulder, grab the buckle, pull it across himself and click it secure?

It’s because I don’t want it to be true. She had told me one time. I ask him to do things because I don’t want it to be true. I don’t want him to not be able to do things.

Buckle your seatbelt, dad. I want him to be able to do this. Today he cannot. I don’t want him to not be able to do this.

 

I get it mom. I get it.

I tried it

Remember how the remote has been missing for a week now?

Yes.

So I tried your trick. I said, honey, where would you put the tv remote if you were going to keep it safe?

And he wandered around the house for awhile and then he comes to me and do you know what he had in his hands?

No!

Yes. The remote! I have no idea where it was.

Ask him where he would hide his phone!

And his shaving bag!