Marathon

Hey ma. What did you guys do today?

Well, I planted that little Japanese Maple and

I also put about 10 of those hedges in.
And dad kept moving my plants around and
taking my water.
He kept taking my water.

So I had him rake leaves

and there still not raked
because he was trying to move my plants around.

It sounds like you ran a marathon.

You’re breathing awfully hard.

I feel like I ran a marathon.

Without any darn water!

 

Someday

Someday,

I will see my dad
whole.

Complete and glorious

like he was created
to be.

Not broken or

wounded.  
Pieces missing.

He will shine in love.

He will laugh in joy.
He will sing praise
to the One who
made him whole.

Someday,

I will see this.

1 Peter 1:6

How did i choose

How do you choose

where to send your dad
for someone else to care for?

Maybe the nice outside space

will distract him
from being left
with strangers.

He’ll like his cozy room layout?

That isn’t his room
in his house
with his family?

The people are kind?

Here’s my dad.
We can’t care for him
so we’re leaving him
with you,
nice strangers.

Yes.

I suppose, that
is how I chose.

My dream

Dad sat at a picnic table
on a green lawn
with a familiar, large, kind lady.

I watched him through the fence
ready to leave.

His head was down.
He was smiling, his old smile.
Laughing with squinting eyes.
He adjusted his glasses
with middle finger and thumb
hand stretched out.

He was my dad again.
The one in my pictures.
The one in my memory.

I tried to get through the fence.
To call to him.
He didn't see me. Didn't hear me.

I couldn't quite reach him.
I couldn't get to him.
I just wanted to
see him again.

You'll lose them both

Do you notice your mom is kinda spacey lately?

I don't want to answer, but
Yes.

From all the time she spends with your dad?
Always living in that world.
She can't ever get away from the hallucinations.

Pause.
Yes.

Do you think she's slipping into that world?
She won't ever decide it's time.
You will have to decide for her.
You will have to send him to the facility.
Before you lose her too.
Before you lose them both to this.

I know.