Getting dressed

After a shower.

Okay dad, let's put your pants on.
But why are you doing this to me.
Put your pants on please. Holding them up to him.
But you're hurt.
Here are your pants.
My mom wouldn't let this happen.
Please put these pants on.
No! You have to get help.
Here are your warm pants, dad.
Damn it! Aaahhh!
Let's put these on and you will be warmer.
But please, we gotta go home. Now.
Give me your leg and I'll put these on for you.
They're gonna shoot me in the head!
Good, we got that leg. Let's put the other leg in.
Aren't we friends?! Nooooaaaaa! Please take me home.
Okay, I'm going to pull these up now.
Please, you gotta get help. They're gonna kill me.
Look, you got warm pants on. Lets put this shirt on.
Mom?! Where am I?
Put your arms in the shirt.
Tell me where I am!
Let's put your arm in the shirt.
You can't do this. Who hurt you?
Now we'll put your other arm in.
This ain't right! Help!!
Awesome job. Now over your head.
Take me home. Please.
You got your shirt on now. Thanks dad.
Why won't you help me?!!!
I'm going to help you with your shoes now........................
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My voice

Wanna go to the barn today, Mom?
No. I'll stay.
What's wrong.

I gave him a hamburger and he couldn't figure out how to eat it.
I unwrapped it and handed it back to him.
He just glared at me.
I can't talk to him anymore.
He hears my voice and he purses his lips and grits his teeth.
I can't say anything to him.
He hates the sound of my voice.

Okay, ma.
Let's go to the barn.
Get you on a horse.
And just walk around in the sun.

Take a drink

Dad, take a drink.
He puts the glass down.
I pick it up, hold it out to him.
Drink this please.
He takes it, sets it down, picks up a washcloth.
Well I'm trying to. And this here, he hands me the washcloth.
I pick up the glass.
Try this, Dad. I made it for you.
Oh really? He takes the glass.
Sets it down and reaches for a dirty dish.
These over here said to make this.
I hand him the glass. Act out taking a pretend drink.
He watches, mimics. Well this is good stuff.
He takes another drink.
Sets it down.
Grabs the washcloth.

Save the other

She asked me tonight, Are we doing the right thing?

If I told her to wait,
to not take him in yet,
she would wait.

And keep him at home
until I told her it was time.
And lose herself a little each day
until she too, is.......
gone.

Are we doing the right thing?
Am I?

Telling her it's time.

Letting one go to save the other.

Shoes

Today we bought Velcro shoes
for my dad.

We put them on him and
felt for his toes and
if it was wide enough.

We asked him how they felt.
He answered
"this guy over here"
and pointed at shoe boxes.

We agreed with each other that we
thought the shoes fit
and seemed comfortable.
I guess we don't know for sure.

We did our best.
Bought shoes without laces.
Bought Velcro shoes for my dad.
Bought Velcro shoes for my mom's husband.

A minute

If
for one minute
one single minute
He was clear

What would he say to us?

Would he tell us we are doing a good job?
Would he want to say sorry for the bad days?
Would he tell us he is okay?
Would he hug us and smile?

Or

Would he tell us not to take him to the facility?
Would he tell us we are not doing enough?
Would he say we are not trying hard enough?


What would he say to us?
If he had one precious, single, minute?

Still wonder

We still wonder
If it's something else

We still hear something and look it up
Hoping
This is what it really is
And it has a cure

And he will wake from his fog
And thank us for not giving up
And with clear eyes
tell us about his fog
in past tense

We still wonder
If it's something else
If we can cure him
So he will wake up

We will always wonder
If